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Regarding Depression

by Toren Davis

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    EP Downloads come with a bonus track. That track can be played before the EP to keep continuity of the story.

    Also see the below alum description for helpful numbers to remember for anyone suffering with depression.
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1.
Happiness 03:44
Happiness, don’t run from me, I’ve felt you before, now just a memory, Happiness, you’re haunting me, Just out of reach, from this shell of me, In this shell of me This shell of me This shell of me Happiness, do you hear my plea? I’ll find you one day, and fill this shell of me, This shell of me.
2.
There is no sleep, no rest tonight, The walls they scream in silence, These stories of when I had hope, But all good things must end, I stare alone, my body still, My mind lost in a race, Reminiscing of who I once was, Or was it just pretend? Bridge: My eyes and heart so heavy, Where to now, my friend? Dive deeper where no one can see, All good things, they must end, Chorus: What if I just stay here? Never to return? And dance with my own demons, Until my body burns, What if I sink further? Down beneath the waves? And rest on the soft bottom, Where no one’s ever saved, Where no one’s ever saved, V2: There is no chance of dreams tonight, Or break from conscious mind, Just everything that I’ve done wrong, And fences I’ve yet to mend, And so I breathe, at least for now, This wintry midnight hour, And stumble through my hollowed thoughts, Most which I can’t defend, Bridge: My eyes and heart so heavy, Where to now, my friend? Dive deeper where no one can see, All good things, they must end, Chorus: What if I just stay here? And never again return? And dance with my own demons, Until my body burns, What if I just sink farther? Down under the waves? And rest on the soft bottom, Where no one can be saved, Where no one can be saved
3.
For a while you were gone, Where? I don’t know, This darkness sunk so deep inside, It was all I had to show, I stumbled down this dead-end path, More downs than ups each day, But my hollow heart kept beating, Now pitch black has turned to grey, Welcome back, hope, Welcome back, hope, Not everything is better, But It's not a downward slide, I’m off my knees, I push to stand, from this place where pain resides, Your presence new and welcome, feels like forever I have crawled, A dull light now illuminates, A path through these canyon walls, Welcome back, hope, Welcome back, hope, It’s been a while since I have seen your face.
4.
Rain wash away, The pain that’s built from all my yesterdays, Clean my soul of all that I’ve done wrong, And help me find the strength to carry on, Give me strength, To right my wrongs, To change my world, help me, Wash away Rain falling from the sky, Kiss my face and show me how to fly, Falling to the world from up on high, Tell me that my best has not gone by Give me strength, To right my wrongs, To change my world, help me, Wash away.
5.
Thousands of years gone by across thousands of miles, People have been living on this earth for quite a while, Each life is but a moment, and can be in just one place, Who comes before or after, we’ll never know their face, That’s why I feel lucky, even on the days I’m blue, Because I’m here in this place and time with you, If I was born in Roman times when Caesar called the shots, Id search for love by chariot but it would be for not, Or if it was years later under a Spanish galleon’s sails, I’d brave the seas to find my love but I would not prevail, That’s why I feel lucky, even when the world seems blue, Because I’m here in this place and time with you, If It was 3022 and the earth was still a thing, I’d fly a brand-new spaceship but my heart would never sing, Or standing there at Woodstock with Jefferson airplane, I would want somebody to love but it would be in vain, That’s why I feel lucky, even if the rest falls through, Cuz I'm here in this place and time with you, I just need this place and time with you.
6.
V1 Candles flicker with stolen light, My day has passed and now comes night, A life of love, a life done right, Hold me till I'm gone from sight, I've seen the sunrise, a countless few, And to myself I have been true, Now with all but my last breath drew, My fading time I spend with you, Chorus: Take my hand, hold it close, The part of life, I loved the most, Walk me to the other side, And there we'll part, but please don't cry, My love, I'll save a spot for you, I give my word, you know it's true, But do not fret I'll see you soon, In the wind, the clouds, the Stars, the moon, Oh, now I leave this life, Now I leave this life, V2 My grasp is weak, my body frail, The curse of time, it has prevailed, This ship now ready to set sail, upon safe winds I leave this gale, As my heart beats its final time, I'm still so thankful you are mine, To take me where I need to be, And set my soul completely free, Chorus: Take my hand, hold it close, The part of life, I loved the most, Walk me to the other side, And there we'll part, but please don't cry, My love I'll save a spot for you, I give my word you know it's true, But do not fret I'll see you soon, In the wind, the clouds, the Stars, the moon, Oh, now I leave this life, Now I leave this life,

about

As always with No Belly Empty Records, anything you send our way will go to feeding those in need.

I wrote this EP about depression during different periods of time when I was battling it. It, along with anxiety are two mental health issues I’ve lived with as far back as I can remember into grade school. I wanted this EP to walk through some of the different phases of depression that I’ve encountered. There are so many people that fight this and each of their stories are different. This is not an all-inclusive list but meant to paint a picture of the disease that is always evolving and is in no way simple.

The first five songs touch on the descent into depression, hitting the bottom, a glimmer of hope from rock bottom, learning to forgive/accept yourself and look to the future, and finding something outside of yourself that helps drive you on. The last, in my case are my wife and daughters. The final song is a fast forward to the end of life. It is the optimal ending, which we hope for each day, to be surrounded by love that walks us to the other side.

Depression is a lifelong process. It is not a weakness and not a stigma to be ashamed of. Fighting it has given me a new perspective from which to see other people who are hurting. Through that lens grew an empathy to not want them to reach their rock bottom. There are many of us out there in all walks of life. If you are able to relate to any part of this EP, I hope you can find a bit of hope within it.

If you are struggling through this there are ways to move in the right direction. A good place to start is your primary care doctor (like me) and getting in with a good counselor. Everyone's journey through it is different, but those are good places to start if you are unsure. Below are also a few helpful numbers to remember.

SAMHSA's National Helpline (For families or individuals facing mental health or substance use disorders) English and Spanish
1-800-662-HELP (4357)

Text your Zip code to 435748 (HELP4U) to find local treatment options, community resources, and support groups.

Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741 to connect to volunteer crisis counselors

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: Dial 988

credits

released January 3, 2023

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Toren Davis Vancouver, Washington

I started writing music and playing with my brother back in the early 2010s. We formed the band, Alpaca De Beats in Arizona where we grew up. In 2014 I moved to Wilmington, North Carolina where I wrote music as I practiced as a family Physician. I am now in Vancouver Washington where I do the same. ... more

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